


Love

by AnotherWriterWhoWrites



Series: 2015 Wincestmas [11]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: 12 Days of Wincestmas, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-28
Updated: 2016-01-28
Packaged: 2018-05-16 19:35:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,243
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5838214
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnotherWriterWhoWrites/pseuds/AnotherWriterWhoWrites
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Why don’t you love me anymore?” Sam suddenly asked, turning in his seat to face Dean.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Love

“Why don’t you love me anymore?” Sam suddenly asked, turning in his seat to face Dean.   
Dean, who had been in the middle of taking a drink from his beer, choked on the liquid and coughed, thumping his chest as he cleared his throat.   
“What?” he finally managed to ask.   
“Why don’t you love me anymore?” Sam repeated, patient because he had no impatience whatsoever.   
Dean stared at him in shock. “What the hell makes you think that I don’t love you anymore?”  
“Well we haven’t had sex in a while.” Sam pointed out. “You make every effort possible not to touch me anymore, except for when I’m hurt on a hunt, you flinch whenever I try to touch you no matter how or what I’m touching, you keep flirting with other men and women in the bars, a few times you got a quickie in the bathroom of a bar and thought I hadn’t noticed, and-”  
“I got it! I got it!” Dean interrupted up, waving his hand. “And I didn’t get any quickies in the bathrooms of any bars any time lately.”  
Sam blinked at him. “I saw you go with them to the bathroom and you came back all flushed and short of breath.”  
“Yeah well,” Dean said, a small blush on his cheeks and rubbing the back of his neck. “I tried to but…I couldn’t do anything, nothing happened.”  
“Oh.” Sam said. A beat passed. “You’re a bit young to have erectile dysfunction, do you think we need to get you Viagra?”  
The blush heightened. “No we do not need to get me Viagra!” he all but shouted at Sam, just staring at him. “Jeez, don’t just say things like that.”  
Sam blinked once more. “What’s wrong with what I said?” he asked.   
Dean sighed and shook his head. “Nothing, subject closed.” he said, leaning back in the bed.   
“The subject can’t be closed because we haven’t talked about the actual subject.” Sam protested, turning to straddle the chair and look at his brother completely. “Do you still love me?”  
“You never used to have to get me to say it to you before.” Dean said, not looking up from the laptop on his lap.   
“You used to show it to be before by touching me and having sex with me.” Sam pointed out. “I didn’t need to hear it because you showed it to me physically and I knew you were emotionally stunted so you would never say it unless you were under duress.”  
“What’s your point?” Dean asked, not looking up.  
“My point is, I want to know when you stopped loving me.” Sam said. “Was it the demon blood? Releasing Lucifer? Which might I add is also your fault because you broke the first seal and I broke the last. Or is it the whole being soulless thing?”  
Dean flinched at the last one. “Its because you didn’t tell me about the whole being soullless and the fact that you’re not Sam.”  
“But I didn’t know that I was soullsess, Cas is the one that screwed it up by leaving my soul in hell.” Sam pointed out once more. “And I am Sam, I have all of his memories and I remember everything about him.”  
“So do shifters.”  
“Oh.” Sam said with another blink. “The shifters that we hunt?”  
“What other shifters do you know?”  
“Oh.” he repeated, shifting slightly in his chair. “So you did mean it then, about hunting me.”  
Dean looked up at him now. “What are you talking about?”  
“Back with the demon blood and Ruby, you said that if you didn’t know me you would hunt me.” Sam reminded him. “So I guess that applies now too. You’d want to hunt me.”  
Dean closed his eyes. “That’s not what I meant.”  
“But you called me a shifter now, and we hunt shifters.”  
“That’s not what I meant!” Dean said, his voice rising slightly. “You…I love you, okay Sam, there I said it.”  
“Then why won’t you have sex with me anymore?” Sam asked tilting his head to the side. “You won’t have sex with someone else, you won’t let me have sex with someone else, we’re both getting pent up and masturbation can only go so far. Why not at least settle the physical urges? They’re all I have now anyway.”  
It was the wrong thing to say as Dean was suddenly glaring at him. “You’re not Sam.” he said again. “At least not the Sam that I know and-” he stopped himself.   
“Love?” Sam said for him. “So despite that you just said that you love me, that was a lie, wasn’t it?”  
Dean closed his eyes once more and rubbed at the bridge of his nose. “Its complicated, alright.”  
Sam raised and lowered one shoulder. “Don’t see how it can be so complicated, you love someone or you don’t, simple.”  
“Sam I do love you its just…” he trailed off, his face looking unsure. “There’s a whole reasons of complications in there and it involves emotions, something you don’t have and can’t understand right now.”  
“I remember the emotions.” Sam told him. “I remember what they’re supposed to feel like, why wouldn’t I understand then?”  
“Because it’s not the same as actually feeling them!” Dean said, sitting up straighter on the bed and staring at him. “Can’t you just drop it?”  
Sam blinked and considered his brother for a long silent moment before turning and facing the television once more. He could hear the sigh of relief from the bed from Dean.   
“I always loved you no matter what.” Sam said, not looking away from the television screen. “Even when you were giving in to Michael or torturing Alistair, how dark you were back then, I still loved you unconditionally and wholly.”  
“Sam,” he could hear the exasperation in Deans voice. “Please just drop it.”  
“Its not my fault I’m soulless.” he continued. “I didn’t choose to come back, I honestly believed that I was going to be in that cage with Michael and Lucifer forever. Even if I had thought of getting out I never would’ve thought to come back without my soul.”  
He turned his head to look at Dean who was stubbornly staring at the laptop screen.   
“I know that I don’t have emotions or anything but physical feelings right now.” he told his brother. “But I remember being in love, the heart palpitations, the stomach turning, the nerves, and the happiness. Sometimes, when I’m with you and you forget for a moment that I don’t have a soul and you act like we used to, sometimes its just a laugh or you touch my arm or something else, I can almost feel all those things again. Makes me think I’m just a tiny bit closer to my soul than I thought I was.”  
Before Sam could blink again Dean had gotten up and crossed the room, kneeling in front of him. Moving back slightly to look at him he froze when Dean reached out, cupped his face, and kissed him softly on the lips, his skin all but vibrating from some sort of human contact.  
“I will always love you, no matter what shape you’re in.” Dean whispered against Sams lips.   
Sam blinked in shock, or something close enough to it, his lips parted as he breathed out, “Dean.”  
“And I promise Sammy, I’m going to make you whole again. No matter what.”

**Author's Note:**

> I do not own Supernatural.


End file.
